So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
