he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
