I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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