Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize