It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
