Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
