so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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