My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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