I smell stomach acid.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
