i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
sex in a hospital.. check
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
