im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
