my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
