The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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