Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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