i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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