Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
