the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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