I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
