Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
