It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the condom got lost in my hair
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
