soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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