New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
