honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
and eventually we just all took our pants off
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
