I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
