I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
