I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
How's work?
Spinning.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
