She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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