is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
