I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
