So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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