This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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