I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
