I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
