Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
