I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
