What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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