I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
