4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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