Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
