I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
