i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
