We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
