porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
