On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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