The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize