Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
