Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
