$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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