there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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