it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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