And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
