This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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