i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
