just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
