I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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