I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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