Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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