So drunk its hurt
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
