Whod you bang
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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