Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
