So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
