You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
