I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When did angry sex become our thing?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
