I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
