I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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