i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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