The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
