Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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