mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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