the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
