Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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