I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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